Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its liver damage thursday
Randomize