Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
