don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
