this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
