How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
