Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
