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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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