We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
being pregnant is like rehab
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
