Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woke up backwards on a recliner
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
