BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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