Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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