We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
