If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
