I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
