Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
