they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
