Non-Jews are for practice
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
