After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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