i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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