dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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