That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
