he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
