last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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