i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
