There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
