so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
