Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
