ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
