Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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