Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
