Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
