So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize