So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We left the knife in your bed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
