Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
