JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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