I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
