I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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