I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
