Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
