If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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