I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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