And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
