Well apparently he's into motor boating.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
