I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just want nice things and good sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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