i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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