just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that is very illegal...i love you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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