I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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