I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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