He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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