I CAN MOONWALK!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
