Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
