I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Randomize