maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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