Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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