Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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