we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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