You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
