hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
