he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
