Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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